As we now search for our next home and are "seasoned buyers" I feel I'm getting quite good at translating the traditional real estate language that most agents seem to speak.
For those of you who don't have a lot of experience in the home buying game, here are a few pointers for you:
"Plenty of room for the kids to play outdoors" - The house is so tiny it will actually make the yard look massive.
"Unique staircase" -Exceptionally steep. More of a ladder really. Prepare to climb.
"Cosy" - You won't be swinging any cats in here!
"Comfortable family home" - Sure, if you have 1.6 children!!
"Renovator's delight" - Current residents are a family of possums and many families of rodents.
"Overlooking a pond" - Some bright spark dug a gigantic hole two feet from the front door, filled it with water and named it "pond".
All dilapidated house pictures courtesy of wikimedia commons
"Turn of the century, original wood oven" - Hasn't actually functioned for about 80 years and will need to be removed.
"Unusual" - plain ugly
"Outdoor room that could be utilized as additional guest accommodation" - I wouldn't put a dog in that cold, dirty, dingy room let alone a guest!!!
Best of luck finding your dream home!